The future is something we all have to wrap our fingers around and do with what we can presently hold and manipulate into what we want for later to look back on. But the future has always been a fuzzy picture for me. I always have envied the prepared and well assured of their brightly lighten path while mine just got muddier and muddier with each passing day, good spots to stop and think here and there but it always falls apart at my finger tips. It's like...I'm not doing something right. What purpose do I have? 19 years old and still act like I'm preteen. Still in high school barely making it by with staggering grades. A failure compared to my successful siblings and aspiring doctor baby brother. It's like I'm the rotten of the bunch. I love art. I love painting and drawing and just getting headaches with an idea that I can't quite figure out at the moment. And now I love digital painting despite the lack of knowledge I have with Photoshop. I just don't know what to do with the tools I have managed to acquire these past few years. A relationship has drawn me away from my practices(not by much) but it pulled me out of certain mindsets that I once had. But.... It's hard. I'm still very frightened and I know I'll never be happy unless I pursue my passions head on. But with what backbone...? Hmmmmm(sigh) I just don't know. That's one thing that's remained constant. I'm still around and drawing. Sense the day I could hold a pencil. Not sure if that's a good way to put it but it's the best I can muster up this late.
Sorry for anyone who still visits here, I know it's been a very long time sense I posted anything but I've been....Preoccupied.
I hope you understand. I still love the same things and I'm gonna be checking in more often. Maybe I'll post something soon, who knows